Dysfunctional Rainbow
by beemanic
Summary: In which Matsuri never became Gaara's student. Instead, the Suna-nin finds himself a rainbow - hidden under dysfunction, klutziness, and a dash of sarcasm. A quiet oddity, Suteki regards herslf as nothing more than the girl who talks to her cat plushie.
1. Meeting Ground

**AUTHOR'S NOTE! **I should be slapped. xD I swear, this is a new story and here I still have to update a million other stories. Especially 'So Scream Like You Mean It'. Ugh, I'm horrible. Well, I should then say that this was a really, impossibly old story I recently found. I couldn't remember the origianal plot, but as I read, my insane mind kept thinking up chapters to follow up. Plus, I adore that silly Tanuki, so he needs a story. I can't _just_ write Deidara stories (by the way, DeiGaa is an EXCELLENT pairing, mind you).

Anyway, this is SLIGHT AU. Slight, becuase the Nartuo-verse is the setting for this story, and yet the plot was twisted by my pychotic mind. Another thing, no one can DARE tell me Gaara is out-of-character in this chapter (My younger, stupider self copied this episode of Naruto and stuck in Suteki. So Gaara is as he was in Naruto.) Sad, I know. But the later chapters will be written by me, and not with the aid of YouTube. xD Okay, I'll shut up and let everyone read. Please, do enjoy!

**DISCLAIMER! **Alright, I own NOTHING of Naruto and it total epic-ness. I only own Suteki and Denki-Denki. So there.

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**01. "Meeting Ground"**

**TAK TAK TAK**

The sound made when a shinobi's zori hits the hard, packed Earth is neither a pleasant nor comforting one.

_Ah, but it's elementary, dear Watson. __**Human Nature.**_

The people of Sunagakure, Village Hidden in Sand, looked up tentatively as the young girl flew past them and winced as her boots slapped the ground loudly and crudely. For you see, the sound of a ninja running could have easily meant that the village was under attack. Which in turn, lead to the people running for cover. Cause and Effect.

Cause: Ninja running

Effect: Panicked villagers

However, all such notions were dismissed as the villagers looked closer at the running child. Why it was just that; a child. Her short hair was flying all around her, sticking to her sweaty and pale face. It was then that she tripped over her boots and flew into the air. She landed on her stomach, and a few of the watching villagers winced. Others laughed.

Without a notion to anyone present, the girl picked herself up and began to run again. More people looked at her, but then they all seemed to recollect that today was the day that the young academy students were to pick a mentor. Reasoning logically, they decided that she must have been very late (for the sun was high in the desert sky) and that they were, in fact, not under any form of ninja attack. Their only enemy today was the wind kicking up sand into commerce stalls or into their clothes.

A scroll slipped out of the girl's back pouch. She skidded to a halt, nearly tripping again, and groped for the scroll. Her small and clumsy fingers only pushed the scroll farther away. Panting, she finally seized the scroll and, shoving it in the pouch unceremoniously, continued to run.

Finally, the sanded walls of the new academy, which mimicked the famed one in Konohagakure, were visible. They grew larger as the girl gained speed and neared her destination. Practically gasping for air, she ran into the open area where all of her age group was already waiting. Unfortunately, her famed clumsiness kicked in at that moment, and the students were once again treated to the spectacle of her tiny frame sliding down the sandy earth as she tripped.

The other youngling's reaction were much the same as the villagers; some winced, others snickered. Correction, _most_ snickered. As always, the girl ignored everyone else and picked herself up. She hastily brushed the sand off her skirt piece and scurried to stand with the other children, ignoring their stares.

"Nice one, Suteki!" one of the rowdier boys said in a taunting whisper. Suteki turned around slowly and eerily stared at him with wide eyes. Not that she meant to be eerie, that's just how she was.

_That's just how she is..._

This was the most common way that the children, and even the adults, referred to Suteki's quirks. Like the way her eyes would get wide and just seem to look into your soul. Or how she could be so clumsy in manner, and yet so very refined in speech. Hell, who would ever figure out that girl?! Ah, and then there was Denki-Denki. Would she ever throw out that ragged old cat plushie?

"Yes, well now that all of the students are here..." began one of the instructors. Suteki immediately turned around, nearly falling over again, and turned to look at the one who spoke. She gave the instructors the same eerie look, and attempted to catch her breath before speaking.

"Gomen nasai. I a-apologize for my t-tardiness," she said in a ragged voice, thinned out from the running. Suteki turned her gaze to the three instructors, using this time to try and study them without being noticed.

There were three of them; the blonde woman at the front, and two males in the rear. They stood in a 'V' formation, which lead Suteki to believe that they were once in a squad together. Or maybe they still were. She could tell that the woman was the oldest, and that the others were younger. There was one dressed in a black jumpsuit, topped off with a Cat Hat. The very corners of Suteki's mouth twitched upward as her hand made its way to her head where her plastic cat ears were in their usual spot. Oh, how she used to get made fun of! Putting that memory aside, Suteki's eyes traveled to his face, where he had painted himself in the traditional Kabuki theater paint. Her fingers subconsciously grazed the soft skin on her face as she looked at the other one. The red head.

"This is combat training," the blonde spoke, cutting Suteki off before she could look at the last one more closely. He seemed to notice her staring and turned to look at her, but Suteki instantly dropped her gazed to the floor.

"Select from here the ninja weapon that is right for you," the blonde one continued. Suteki lifted her eyes just enough to analyze that three tables laden with shinobi weapons. But then, the unthinkable happened. A girl raised her hand and interrupted the blonde. Disaster!

Everyone looked at her in surprise, including the blonde. Suteki peered over a blonde girl's...Wait, _boy's_ shoulder and looked at the brown-haired girl. Ah, yes. Suteki was on friendly terms with this one; Matsuri was her name. Suteki listened, curious to hear what the girl had to say.

"Um..." she began quietly, "Do we have to choose one?"

"What is this about?" the male with the painted face asked as the blonde gasped softly. Suteki guessed that he must have been around fifteen, quite possibly a little older.

"If you use a weapon, you'll hurt the other person," Matsuri reasoned. Suteki's lips twitched out a smile. Well, of course they would. That's the point!

"You might even kill them..." she pointed out. Suteki's gaze shifted to the red head as his eyes opened. She looked at his pale, sea foam green eyes for only a moment before turning away.

"A weapon..." he began (in a voice that Suteki thought would have been much harsher, yet wasn't), but stopped as everyone, including the other instructors, stared at him. Only Suteki kept her gaze on the floor. But when she peeked up at him, he seemed uncomfortable and turned his gaze to the sandy earth.

"No, it's nothing..." he finished. But Suteki wanted to hear the rest. A weapon...What? What did he have to say? It must have been important enough to say, for he didn't seem to be the type to speak unimportant words. Just like Suteki was, in fact. But the lesson was moving on.

"A ninja mission is not a game," the blonde one said icily (after she and the other one exchanged glances).

"If you have that kind of heart when going into battle, you'll get killed," said the other. Yet the red haired one remained silent. Suteki kept her gaze on him as everyone else concentrated on the other instructors. Her eyes raked the _love _kanji on his forehead. What was this?

"G-Gomen nasai..." Suteki heard Matsuri mutter. Then the boy next to her spoke in a warning whisper, "You ask stupid questions. And now that you've gone and angered Gaara, I don't want to know you anymore."

"Gaara?" whispered Suteki, and the blonde boy turned to her in surprise. Flushed, Suteki looked in another direction, but her mind was raging. Was this the famed Gaara? The so-called monster of Suna? Of course she had heard of him (Who hadn't?), but Suteki never expected him to look so...So...Harmless? No, young? Nah…Maybe it was both?

"The combat training," said Kitty-Boy, "Is against one of us."

Suteki shot Matsuri a somewhat pitying look and looked at the Cat instructor's feet. Were they really set to fight them? Goodness, most would fail miserably. Suteki included.

"Assemble into the groups you want to be in," he instructed over the whispers of Suteki's peers. Each of their ten-year-old faces were wrought with -- what was it? -- excited fear. Suteki merely watched as the blonde looked at Gaara and spoke to him softly. But Suteki couldn't hear, much to her dismay. But she did hear the blonde boy speak to his fellows.

"My dad said that Gaara is the ultimate weapon of Suna," he whispered to another boy. A smirk was plastered on his lips, as he was obviously pleased with his knowledge. The other boy shivered.

"I'm scared, what if he destroys the village?" Another boy replied, "Let's not go with him, then. Alright! I'm with Temari!"

He dutifully marched off towards the blonde Temari (they must have had introductions before Suteki arrived), leading the small mass of students with him. They each dispersed between Temari and the kitty boy, who Suteki overheard being referred to as 'Kankurou'. Finally, only she and Matsuri were left. But Suteki was only there to watch what Matsuri would do. The brown-haired girl looked at her peers and took a hesitant step towards Gaara. But before the other foot could reach the ground, Matsuri seemed to have changed her mind at the last second. So she ended up scampering towards Temari's group, sending an apologetic look towards Suteki.

So now she was left. Her pale and dry lips turned down in a slight frown. Matsuri had disappointed her, but there was nothing to do about that now. Taking a deep breath, Suteki carefully made her way over to the red head. He did not see her approach him, for his black-lined eyes were closed. Perhaps to block off any sight of the other students that were too afraid of him. Perhaps not.

But he still heard her clumsy and loud footsteps as she approached him. As his eyes opened, Suteki stopped, almost falling over again. She caught herself just in time to stare into the pale eyes of the red haired Gaara. He stared back, his eyes masking any thought or emotion that may have been passing through.

"May I?" Suteki asked in a small voice. Not that she was scared, that's just how her voice was. The two did not even blink as they stared at each other.

"You're okay with me?" the red head asked. Suteki could only detect a hint of caution in his voice, otherwise it was emotionless. Her mouth curved slightly in a frown.

"May I?" she insisted

He nodded once in acceptance, and Suteki could already hear the whispers of the others. She ignored them as usual and stepped closer to the tables as everyone else crowded around and selected their weapons. One by one, all the weapons were plucked away by the young shinobi-in-training until, once again, Matsuri and Suteki were left. But this time Suteki did not even bother to look at the timid female. Her eyes were wide and focused on the remaining weapons as she pondered over which to choose.

From the corner of her eye, Suteki saw Temari coach Matsuri gently on the weapons, until she chose the smallest one. No doubt the safest as well. She also watched as Gaara walked around the table and stood by her. The distance, while not close, bothered Suteki and she began to fidget slightly. Not that she was scared, human contact just plain bothered her.

"Your name?" Gaara asked the slightly twitching Suteki. She swiveled around on one foot and stared at him owlishly.

"Suteki. Densetsu Suteki. And you are Gaara," she answered simply, pointing to herself, then him. A very, very tiny smile crept up unto Gaara's lips. Or maybe it was just the very corners of his lips twitching upward. Nevertheless, he looked more friendly. If only a bit.

"Suteki, then. Pick your weapon."

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**KAZ SPEAKS! **Well, there it is. A little short for my usual writings, but still...Okay. I did take the time to edit this, but it is still mostly the same. Suteki's...Odd nature will come in more in the next chapter.

And no, she is not crazy. xD

Anyway, I really do need to know how I'm doing with this. Since this my my first actual Gaara fic (the other one belongs to Mizu) and my second Naruto-verse one. I'm a little unfamiliar with Gaara's character, since I'm SO used to writing Deidara fictions. And we all know how different they are. So I really do need feedback.

Reviews are the ramen to my Naruto, so do leave one! See ya next time!!


	2. DenkiDenki Says You're A Cold Bastard

**AUTHOR'S NOTE! **alfkjlkdsj FUSSSSSK. SUCH a long wait. Dx I'm so, so, so sorry! There have been a million and one things going on, and just...ARG. I haven't had the time to write much. -sigh- This chapter was supposed to have more, but I was too tired to write anymore. Well, I hope you enjoy this one.

**DISCLAIMER! **I do not own anything, except for Suteki. And Denki-Denki. Yep.

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**02. "Denki-Denki Says You're A Cold Bastard"**

Sea-green eyes of a pale tint moved slightly, watching the small girl's every movement. She darted from table to table, looking at the few remaining weapons with a serious, round little face. The only visible caramel eye (the other was hidden by a shock of dark, sandy hair) was narrowed in concentration. Gaara merely stood still in his usual stance; arms crossed, legs placed firmly on the ground.

Her lips were moving in such rapid succession, that it took the sand shinobi a moment to realize she was speaking. However, he could not hear any of the hushed words - despite the fact that his hearing was more sensitive than that even of the average ninja.

"...No, he can't be..." the snatch of words were the only thing he was able to hear as she darted past him. A gust of wind picked of several bits of sand and lifted them into the air. Suteki sneezed, rubbing her eyes with the back of one hand.

"Nasty sand..." she whispered to herself, continuing her appraisal of the scattered weapons. A quiet sigh escaped Gaara's lips, and Suteki instantly stopped her quick, clumsy movements. She looked at him through a widened caramel-colored eyes, waiting for him to speak. The flame-headed boy did not offer any words, but merely locked his own eyes with hers for a moment, before closing his dark-rimmed eyes and once again resuming the task of waiting patiently.

He did not see Suteki's lip jut out in a tiny pout, but he did hear the tinkling whisper that followed.

"Denki-Denki! You shouldn't say those kinds of things!"

There was a flash of sea-green, "May I ask who it is you're talking to?"

Suteki let out a soft, muffled sort of shriek and stood rigidly, nearly falling over in the process. She caught herself in time and looked at Gaara through those same wide, caramel eyes.

"No one!" she answered smoothly, still staring at him owlishly. But any fool could see she was lying, and the sand shinobi would be damned before a simple girl would get the better of him. However, rather than pelt her with unnecessary words, as others would (even his own siblings), he merely kept his stance and stared back at the girl, narrowing his eyes by an infinitesimal bit.

Suteki noticed this and chewed on her bottom lip, unfazed. Staring contests were such fun! She narrowed her own eyes as well, and leaned forward a tad.

Moments passed...

Eyes watering, Suteki jutted out her bottom lip once more (it was slightly swollen from her previous chewing). Her eyes twitched, and the wind blew up more sand. Her nose began to itch.

"Ne..." she muttered in agitation. Gaara - having had years or practice in the fine art that was staring down other people - was unmoved by her little act, and thus kept his gaze locked with her. He wasn't playing her foolish little game - oh no, him? Never! - and resigned to waiting for her to finally stop her antics.

Finally, with tears streaming down her face, Suteki was resolved to blink at last. She quickly brought a gloved hand to her eye and rubbed the water and sand out of it. Letting her hand fall to her side limply, the girl blinked a few more times (for good measure) and sent the flame-headed one a tiny, tiny smile.

"You won!" she declared, fidgeting with her choppy, short hair. Gaara still did not blink, un-amused. The girl frowned.

"You're not happy...?" she began to ask - but was cut off by a pillar of sand rising up from in front of her. Suteki's eyes shot open, and she quickly jumped back. Landing a few feet back, she landed with her foot in the wrong place and fell backwards. The sand made a deafening grating sound as it hovered above her, waiting for the order to strike. The girl tried to crawl back, but slipped once more and fell on her back, laying there.

"If you were in a fight," he began, using that same sort of placid tone from before, "You'd be dead right now. I have no time for this foolishness. Do you want to become a shinobi of the sand, Densetsu-san?"

Suteki looked at him for a while. But then Gaara's eyes widened a tad, and the hovering sand fell limp before returning back to his gourd. Quickly, he was at Suteki's side, staring at her intently. The girl remained unfazed, still with...With _that_ look on her face. _That_ look.

"What is it? Why are you looking at me with..." and for the first time, Gaara was without words. He couldn't describe it, didn't even know where to begin, "...That face."

Silently, Suteki picked herself up - as she had so many other times before - swaying slightly before straightening up and looking at her new mentor with owlish eyes.

"What look?" she asked in a small voice. A pallid finger was pointed to her face.

"_That_ look," he confirmed, still giving her an empty stare. The gears in his mind were hard at work, trying to piece a word to that expression she wore so blatantly. Thin, dry lips stretched into what could be described as a smile. Gaara let his hand fall to his side.

"Respect. Admiration, maybe. The look all students give their mentors in such a moment. I don't know..." Suteki shrugged a skinny little shoulder, and kept her ground; an act most of her age group would have given her a citation of bravery for.

"Not fear?" the words where spoken dryly, and Suteki's smile died down. As the girl fiddled even more with her hair, Gaara suddenly regretted unleashing the sand so bluntly. Well, he only regretted it a _tad_ bit. Not much, honestly.

"No. I wouldn't think so," the girl giggled hysterically, "Denki-Denki, shut up!"

Oblivious to his actions, Suteki broke her stare and twisted her body half around, wobbling for a moment as she did so. Catching herself, there was a sound of rummaging, and - from a pouch that was attached to the back of her skirt piece's belt - produced a filthy, torn-and-then-poorly-stitched-back-together, stuffing-leaking cat plushie. A wicked grin came unto her pale little face, drastically changing her previous innocent appearance.

With the air of handling a precious jewel, Suteki brought the stained old thing up to her ear, "Come again?"

Her expression was one of rapt attention, and Gaara felt the muscles were his eyebrows should have been furrow into a slightly confused expression.

"Ah. Yes, yes of course. No...Well, I suppose," Suteki muttered rapidly, still appearing to be listening to her cat plushie.

"Densetsu-san, are you speaking...To a toy?" There were very few moments in Gaara's life where he was caught by surprise. Needless to say, this was definitely one of them.

At his voice, Suteki flushed and whipped her arms around to hide the cat plushie behind her back. Caramel irises shifted from side to side. She stood on her toes, leaning in towards her new mentor.

"No..." she drawled out in a sing-song voice, returning to her position and smiling cheekily. Eyebrow-muscles rose in a strange mixture of confusion, frustration, and a dash of amusement.

"You're lying," he stated, crossing his arms. The girl nodded in response.

"Yeah."

"And you won't tell me that you were talking to a stuffed cat? Even though I saw you with my own eyes?"

The flame-headed boy stopped speaking then. He realized something; those were the most words he had spoken to anyone in a long time. Well, not counting that Naruto kid. But that was different story.

Suteki chewed on her bottom lip, oblivious to her mentor's epiphany.

"Well, in that case..." she leaned in towards Gaara once more. It was still some distance between the two (the young girl did not like to be close to other people physically), and a normal person would have had a hard time hearing the small girl's words.

"Well, his name is Denki-Denki..."

Suteki's eyes shifted once more, and she whispered the next part conspiratorially to the teen:

"Denki-Denki doesn't seem to like you. He says you're a cold bastard..."

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**KAZ SPEAKS! **HAH. I told you more of Suteki's personality would show in this one. At least that's one promise I kept. Yeah...

Well, not much to say. But reviews are the ramen to my inner Naruto. SO LEAVE THEM. Please?

Oh, and a _million_ thanks to those who reviewed before. I was ecstatic! Five reviews in one chapter!!! -SQUEE-


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